


I Won't Choke on the Noose Around Your Neck...

by ThePoetess



Series: Les Amis. [1]
Category: Les Miserables
Genre: Art Criticism, Art School, Artist Grantaire, Asexual Combeferre, Asexual Feuilly, Awesome Bahorel, Awkward Marius, Badass Jean Prouvaire, Bahorel and Feuilly Swear, Bahorel is a Good Friend, Bahorel is a Teddy Bear, Big Damn Heroes, Bossuet's Terrible Luck, Classical Music, Classics, Courfeyrac Is A Little Shit, Courfeyrac Ships It, Courfeyrac and Glitter, Courfeyrac being Courfeyrac, Courfeyrac tricks then forces Joly into watching Horror and suspense films (Contagion and what not?), Demisexual Joly, Dorks in Love, Enjolras Was A Charming Young Man Who Was Capable Of Being Terrible, Falling In Love, Feuilly Week, First Crush, First Kiss, First Love, First Meetings, First Time, Florist Jean Prouvaire, Flowers, Fluff and Humor, Friendship/Love, Gavroche is adopted by the Les Amis D'LABC, Grantaire & Jean Prouvaire Friendship, Grantaire & Joly Friendship, Grantaire Rants, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Idiots in Love, Ill Enjolras, Illegal Activities, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Sex, Javert Is Grantaire's Dad, Jehan Prouvaire & Joly Friendship, Jehanparnasse Week 2017, Joly has Aspergers Syndrome, Kissing in the Rain, Les Amis de l'ABC - Freeform, Library Sex, Loss of Parent(s), Lost Love, Love, Love at First Sight, M/M, Marius kissing a handkerchief, Matchmaker Cosette, Matchmaker Courfeyrac, Minor Joly/Bossuet Laigle/Musichetta, Minor Montparnasse/Éponine Thénardier, Moving In Together, Near Death Experiences, Non-Binary Jehan, Oblivious Enjolras, Oreste à Jeun et Pylade Ivre | Orestes Fasting and Pylades Drunk, Original Character(s), Other, Paintball, Painting, Parent Valjean, Past Montparnasse/Éponine Thénardier, Past Relationship(s), Pining Grantaire, Poetry, Poor Joly, Protective Combeferre, Protests, Relationship Problems, Robbery, Sad with a Happy Ending, Same-Sex Marriage, Self-Harm, Singing, Sorry Jehan, Terminal Illnesses, Transgender Combeferre, Valjean takes all the Les Amis D'LABC under his wing, angsty, ❤️ - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-31
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-19 18:40:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15516123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePoetess/pseuds/ThePoetess
Summary: A sad Combeferre/Joly story where Joly's dad is a Homophobe and everything goes terribly wrong including Enjolras and Grantaire's new relationship.Starting from the Les Amis as teenagers.This has a HAPPY ENDING! I swearWarnings for: Suicidal thoughts and attempts





	1. A Dreary August

**Author's Note:**

> So, this was supposed to be for Feuilly Week but is a little late.

He wrote a quick note - a short letter carrying instructions for- after: 

'Ferre ~ 

When I die,  
Have Jehan plant flowers over my grave,  
So when the seeds bloom,  
You can pick me and hold me again.  
I've made a will and everything - pick what you want- 

I'm sorry.  
J. ~ 

 

He set it beside his bed on his pristine desk and walked with bleeding wrists towards his door and down the hall to the bathroom where he shut the door, trying to stop from hearing the yelling from downstairs - it was always there anyway - he was even numb to that now.  
He turned the tap on full to drown the sobs that escaped his tightly closed lips and stepped fully clothed into the tub, the knife with its ruby red droplets still in his hand cutting into his palm but he didn't feel the pain. 

Another cut as he slid down in the tub, his phone on the bathroom table buzzed erratically but he ignored the call, another cut, stinging yet he didn't feel the pain. 

He'd texted Combeferre earlier to meet up at the library and hadn't showed up so it was probably a worried Combeferre. 

He laid his head against the cold side of the tub and blacked out with blood coursing from a slightly opened vein.

Julian Combeferre knew something was wrong, he just knew it - J would have called or texted a million times if he had to cancel study group with 'Ferre- cause J always texted him too much with apologies and cancellations and it had been happening more and more as the days wore on into a dreary August. 

Combeferre's phone rang and he let out a large breath he hadn't known he'd been holding - he flipped it up to his ear holding it up with his shoulder and paid for his books at the front desk as he got ready to check out of the library "Joly?" No answer came "Joly? Where are you?" His voice came out as anxious and he checked that, Joly hated anyone being anxious over him "Joly where are you? I was w-" it was not Joly's voice on the other end but a Doctor's. Combeferre dropped his phone. 

"J-ulian Combeferre! Yes- Julian Comb-eferre-" a frantic and sleep deprived Julian Combeferre almost yelled as he brushed past the Doctor into the sterile hospital room, the nineteen year old Combeferre stopped dead in the doorway Corsican blue eyes staring blankly down at the young man laid out in the cold hospital bed under a fraying and thin blanket "J-" he looked weakly back at the Doctor then staggered forward "J-Joly?" He shook his head frantically in disbelief - that couldn't be- that couldn't be Joly - that couldn't wasn't his best friend Joly, he tried to stop the tears that brimmed at the corners of his eyes but he couldn't and gasping out choked breaths he burst out crying, letting stinging tears fall to the linoleum tiles. 


	2. All Scars do not Fade or Alternate Realities Realized

Combeferre scratched a tired hand through his soft blonde hair and yawned before staring down with burning eyes at - he choked in a breath, at - Joly - his eyes raked his face for any sign of anything- just anything that meant - "Jol-y - wh-y? Why?" His eyes found the bandaged wrists tightly wound - his eyes started blinking back tears, the letter had been placed in his hands the moment he'd entered the hospital, the moment he'd uttered his name, the moment - no, no he wouldn't think of - the alternate - Combeferre touched Joly's face gently nervous to hurt him "Joly - Joly? Why?" He croaked out in a voice raw from disuse. 

Combeferre had been there in the hard metal chair at Joly's side for twelve hours now and hadn't moved except once to quickly snatch a cup of lukewarm coffee and a bagel which he decided he couldn't eat and left on a table (That unaccompanied bagel would soon be snatched up by one Jean Valjean whereupon Inspector Javert would try to arrest him for stealing a bit of bread and cream cheese) 

Combeferre sipped the coffee slowly while he watched Joly's breathing - his eyes started closing and his head fell to his shoulder.

It was hours still till someone shook him awake " 'Ferre? 'Ferre? Combeferre? Hey hey 'Ferre- hey - easy- easy-" Combeferre's red eyes opened and he blinked into the blurry obscure face of Etienne Courfeyrac who bit his lip and looked over his shoulder at the hospital bed "H-ey 'Ferre," Combeferre sat up straight and cleared his throat "H-hey Courf-" Courfeyrac pointed at Combeferre's lip "Ummm, you got a little drool on your lip 'Ferre- just there-" Combeferre wiped it away with his shirt sleeve as Courfeyrac sat in the chair beside him "How's Joly?" Courf muttered softly "Enj and the others are just parking - be here soon-" Combeferre nodded softly "Yeah o-kay-" he stretched gently and stood on his aching legs going to check Joly's vitals "He's- I never knew- Courf, never knew he was so dep-ressed - He probably showed signs but I was too blind and busy - and -" Courfeyrac hugged him tightly "Wasn't your fault man - 'Ferre it wasn't your fault, none of us saw anything." The door opened and in came eighteen year old Emeric Grantaire in green and red pajama shorts and a white tank top "Oh god -" he slurred sleepily as he saw Joly and set his bottle down on the operating table "Whas happened with Joly?" He stumbled forward as a ruffled Sebastian Enjolras walked in with two cups of coffee, one of them he handed to Combeferre "Here 'Ferre, drink this-" Combeferre thanked him softly "Did you just wake R up?" Enjolras frowned then shook his head "No, he just rocketed out of the dorm room right after you texted. He was freaking out about Joly and just forgot he wasn't decent as if he could ever be de-" Combeferre rounded angrily on Enjolras not knowing really where the anger came from "Enj! This is not the time for your pettiness!!! Do you see Joly!!!? Or are you as blind as I am!!!?" Enjolras nodded as he bit down hard on his lip and blinked "You're scared and angry and worried so I'll let that comment slide-" Grantaire was beside Joly's bed just staring down at him with hands held over his own wrists, clutching and feeling every scar, every scar that told his story "Damnit Joly! Goddamn goddamnit Joly! Ya just helped me not do the exact same thing you just did! Wha does that make you huh!!!? A hypo-crite!? Damnit Joly! Fu*k!" He didn't cry though he felt like it, for the first time in years Grantaire felt like crying, just breaking down and having a nice sob but he didn't, just sat perched on the edge of Joly's bed with a look that could have struck the most unfeeling person down "Ya know the sad thing is En-j? 'Ferre? Courf? The sad thing is I never knew - was so wrapped in my pain- in my head and hurt - I never knew -" 


	3. The World Just isn't Ready. (Flashback - a year before)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set A Year Before chapters One and Two. 
> 
> Florent Everiste Joly is a lonely kid with a weird name and a crooked smile who meets Juliana Combeferre, a transitioning young woman working long hours in the High School Library and staying up way too late studying and planning Revolutions with her small yet intrepid group of friends. Joly's life changes after meeting Combeferre and he wouldn't have it any other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So at first I wasn't going to have Combeferre be transgender but then I decided to just go with it, so here goes :) I hope everyone likes it

Florent Joly was keeping a low profile when he bumped into someone who had been thrown into his way, two boys at a nearby table had been fist fighting and this tall muscular kid had obviously lost, someone ran to help him up, yelling his name as he went, something like "Baz!? Bahorel!!!?" Joly dodged the falling kid and tried to stay close to the wall, he didn't want anyone to see him - his acne was terrible and he was very self conscious- he wasn't watching where he was walking and slammed his face into a opened locker door. 

Someone cursed from the other side and peaked from behind it, a pretty young woman smiled nervously at him and offered him a tissue "I am so sorry -" Joly blushed and sputtered "S'okay -" he then proceeded to smile nervously at her, she for her part extended her hand gently "Julian Combeferre- and you are?" Joly just stared shyly through copper eyelashes, he blinked "Oh, uhhhh Joly - ju-st Joly -" Juliana Combeferre blinked back then smiled at him making the rising blush on Joly's face burn brighter in embarrassment "You have a first name Just Joly?" Joly bit his lip "Yes but but I don't like it - people tease me - they call me Flora-" Combeferre raised her eyebrows "Flora?" Joly blushed then nodded and ran a nervous hand through his hair "Ye-ah- because my names Flor-ent -" he busied himself by staring like he actually cared at his shoes "And I hate it-" 

Combeferre gave a small smile holding back a chuckle "Ah, well Florent Joly, I for one have no problem calling you just Joly, though I am actually quite particular about that name - I like it - like how it sounds on my tongue, Flor-ent - see? No need to be unhappy about your name - Oh - you got something right there-" she pointed at her left nostril "Ju-st there, must've happened when the door hit you, I'm so sorry," Joly who had reached up to his left nostril and had brought his hand nervously away to see it covered in blood and who could now taste the iron taste in his mouth, freaked out.


	4. Life Before and After Meeting Combeferre (Two years before the story starts)

"I'm sorry I'm so f***ing sorry!" Combeferre muttered as she instructed Joly to lie down on a picnic table and tilted his head back pushing a tissue to his bleeding nose "I'm sorry - there-" she squeezed his hand and squinted at him as she fixed her horn rimmed glasses "So, you from Paris? I myself am a transplant from Lyons - you?" Joly drew a breath "Gavedaun-" Combeferre gaped at him "Gavedaun? You are certainly far from home Just Joly -" Joly gingerly checked his nose "Dad moved us here a month or two ago, I'm utterly confused and lost around Paris -" Combeferre checked the smile forming on her lips "Really? Then let me be your guide?" Joly gave a weary smile which brightened the moment he realised he might have just made a friend "Yes!? Please!? Like I said earlier, I'm totally lost, it's such a big city!" Combeferre opened her lunch bag and opened her lunch, she then squinted at Joly and frowned, he was way too skinny "You have food anywhere? A lunch?" Joly shook his head and winced at the pain from his nose "Bo - I mean no -" he said as he pinched his nose shut,Combeferre looked down at her specially made BLT sandwich "Want to split my sandwich?" Joly blushed "You'd do that? Wouldn't it be unsanitary to share?" That made Combeferre burst out laughing "Maybe! No! Only thing you should watch out for is cooties!" Joly actually shivered which made Combeferre sober up and stare at him "What? Oh you don't actually believe in cooties do you?" Joly shrugged nervously and said through the corner of his mouth "Mayb-e-" 

They ended up splitting her sandwich and finding out things about each other, things they had in common, things they didn't, and they laughed like mad, and Joly started to feel less lonely and Combeferre started to feel more accepted.


	5. Joly Gets Lost but Has a Great Guide (Flashback)

It had been a year since Joly had met Combeferre and he couldn't imagine his life without her. 

Combeferre for his part had told Joly everything at the beginning, her favourite things, about her family, and her beginning to transition - Joly hadn't even batted an eye. 

"I think you'd be a cute guy-" he'd said which had drawn a long sputtering chuckle from Combeferre  
and one of Joly's best smiles. 

Much had happened in that year like Combeferre transitioning fully from a female to a man. 

He was still in the hospital and had seen Joly everyday - sometimes Joly had even stayed overnight at the hospital with 'Ferre. 

Joly was a latchkey kid who hated the dreary atmosphere at home and preferred his days spent with Combeferre and the other friends he had made over that year, friends of Combeferre's that he'd introduced to Joly.

Combeferre lay still on the hospital bed and looked at himself in the mirror, some things he was going to have to get used to - his phone rang and he picked up immediately when he saw Joly's number "Hey Joly what's up?" He smiled at his voice, definitely different. 

Joly's worried voice came over the line tinny in his nervous state " 'Ferre!? Oh god it's you good - I'm lost!"

Combeferre just smiled before he remembered Joly's fear of being lost and alone "Alright Joly - I want you to take three deep breaths for me okay? I'll walk you through it, one -" he heard Joly's hitched breathing "Joly I didn't mean you should hyperventilate - nice easy calm breaths like Jehan taught us in yoga - two, inhale and exhale Joly I know you're holding it, three -" he brought up his tracking device (He'd installed a gps device in Joly's backpack) he watched Joly's little dot walk in circles and laughed "Joly are you in the car park?" 

Joly in the hospital car park frowned "Ye-s but I can't find my way out - it's a big car park 'Ferre."

Combeferre bit his lip to stop from bursting out in laughter "Joly - you're on the Fifth floor? Right? Go up to the thirteenth floor-" on the other line a car honked and Combeferre could hear Joly cursing and apologizing anxiously "And Joly - watch the cars -"

Joly gave a nervous smile "You are a great guide 'Ferre-" he gave a little laugh "See you if I ever get out of this maze -" Combeferre laughed too "I'll send you some rope you can follow Theseus - just mind the metal Minotaurs?" Joly chuckled as he dodged a car which honked loudly "Combeferre as much as I love you bringing Greek Mythology into everything - I'm more like Icarus - oh! I see the door!" 


	6. If Found (The Present)

Combeferre lay slumped in the horrible hospital chair, breathing heavy as his lungs constricted in the awful position he was in, Enjolras was beside him in the other chair and the others were scattered about the room, Etienne Courfeyrac sitting on the table top and Emeric Grantaire hunched in a chair opposite in a dark corner, everyone was asleep.

Combeferre felt a tug on his shirt sleeve and blearily opened his eyes softly "Huh?" Joly smiled weakly at him from the bed "H-hey 'Ferre-" Combeferre staggered up and launched himself into Joly's arms "Joly!? Don't you ever scare me like that again!? Ever!? Never again! You hear me!!!?" He hadn't meant to yell but his voice hoarse from disuse came out sharper bowed by his anger and fear. Grantaire shot up almost comically and put up his fists with their bruised nuckles as he jolted frantically from his sleep, Enjolras on the other hand, who was a shallow sleeper gently uncrossed his tingling arms and leisurely opened his eyes blinking into the blaring hospital light. 


End file.
